Bridging Divides with Third Places: Creating Inclusive Spaces for Connection

The recent election has left many of us feeling uncertain about the future, deepening a sense of division and fear. But within this turmoil lies an opportunity: creating spaces where we can connect across differences and bridge our divides. Richard Kyte’s Finding Your Third Place offers a hopeful way forward by describing “third places”—inclusive spaces where people come together as equals. In these spaces, we can rebuild community, foster understanding, and heal by focusing on our shared humanity.

What is a Third Place?

Third places, as described by sociologist Ray Oldenburg and expanded on by Richard Kyte, are spaces outside of home and work that foster community. They are neutral, inclusive, and welcoming spaces where social status is left at the door. Here, people from all walks of life can meet, converse, and connect on equal footing. Third places are characterized by lively conversation, accessibility, a welcoming group of regulars, and a comfortable, unpretentious atmosphere. Genuine laughter and a sense of fun are hallmarks of these spaces, where people feel at home and at ease.

Kyte emphasizes that these characteristics aren't strict requirements but serve as guidelines. To illustrate the essence of a third place, Kyte shares experiences from local Wisconsin places that embody the spirit of a third place. A place might not tick every box yet still function effectively as a third place. It's more about the overall feel and the quality of interactions that occur there.

Bridging the Divide

In times of division, it’s tempting to stay within echo chambers, surrounding ourselves with people who share our beliefs, to cut off relatives who disagree with our perspectives, and avoiding difficult conversations. Third places offer a refreshing antidote by bringing together individuals from diverse backgrounds in a neutral setting. These spaces can foster genuine conversations and understanding, breaking down barriers and helping people see beyond labels and stereotypes. Imagine a local café where community members gather and share stories. Over time, these relationships build empathy, making it harder to view those with differing views as “others”. 

Kyte reminds us that "there is goodness deep in the heart of many strangers, but you need patience to see it revealed." By spending time generously with one another, we begin to see the depth and complexity in others. This practice of hospitality allows us to know people beyond our immediate understanding, helping us move past preconceived notions.

The Importance of Hospitality and Kindness

Hospitality is at the heart of every third place, inviting kindness and acceptance. As Kyte observes, 'Kindness is a way of knowing people beyond our understanding of them.' This echoes leaders like John Lewis and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., who reminded us that love and understanding build community. In King’s words, 'The aftermath of the love method is reconciliation and the creation of the beloved community...even for one's enemies.' In third places, we practice this love by seeing the good in others, even in disagreement. 

Actionable Steps to Cultivate Inclusive Spaces

How can we foster third places in our own communities? Here are practical steps:

1. Create Neutral Spaces: Design areas at work or in the community where people can gather informally, like a break room, garden, or park.
2. Promote Inclusivity: Invite individuals from various backgrounds to ensure diverse voices and perspectives.
3. Facilitate Open Conversations: Hold informal gatherings where people can share stories and insights without strict agendas.
4. Encourage Regulars and Accessibility: Consistent, convenient gatherings build a welcoming, familiar environment.
5. Keep It Simple and Comfortable: Focus on creating a relaxed, comfortable space where people feel free to be themselves.

Moving Forward Together

Richard Kyte’s Finding Your Third Place reminds us of the power of shared spaces to build community. As we seek healing, let’s create or support these third places—spaces where conversation flows and differences become bridges. By focusing on what unites us and practicing hospitality, we can foster the empathy and connection needed to move forward together.

Further Exploration

Finding Your Third Place

An exciting new look at the essential gathering spaces in our society where friendships are formed, relationships are nurtured, and the tapestry of community is woven. Do you have a third place? Your first place is home, your second place is work, and your third place is where you go to socialize and build friendships. Yet, for several reasons, many people today find themselves without a third place of their own. At a time when our nation is facing an epidemic of loneliness and communities are suffering from a loss of trust, low levels of engagement, despair, and political polarization, what if the answer to many of our problems lies in a simple idea? What if we just need to pay attention to the places where we find ourselves? Rick Kyte combines storytelling, social science, and philosophy to explore: What makes a third place Factors that create and support vibrant communities The role of hospitality in creating belonging and social connection How third places foster friendships and bind us to others in our community What it takes to find and create a third place of your own “Rick Kyte’s insight into the vital human experience of connection and friendship is both scholarly and inspiring. The next time I visit my favorite coffee shop, I’m leaving my laptop at home. It’s time to look outward and engage more fully with others in our third places.” —Amy Dickinson, “Ask Amy” advice columnist and author of The Mighty Queens of Freeville FEATURED IN VOX AND THE “ASK AMY” COLUMN

Google Books

The Great Good Place

The Great Good Place argues that “third places” - where people can gather, put aside the concerns of work and home, and hang out simply for the pleasures of good company and lively conversation - are the heart of a community’s social vitality and the grassroots of democracy.

Google Books

Racial Justice and Nonviolence Education: Building the Beloved Community, One Block at a Time

This book examines the role that community-based educators in violence-affected cities play in advancing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s radical nonviolent vision for racial and social justice. This work argues that nonviolence education can help communities build capacity to disrupt and transform cycles of violence by recognizing that people impacted by violence are effective educators and vital knowledge producers who develop unique insights into racial oppression and other forms of systemic ha

Routledge & CRC PressArthur Romano