A team member tells you, "I'm worried we won't have enough time to do this well."

You are already thinking about the deadline. You know how much work went into the plan, and you have a response lined up. You know just how to respond.

Most of us have been here. We want to be helpful, solve a problem, or keep things moving. Yet the speed of our response can mean we miss what the other person is trying to tell us. Perhaps the concern is about the timeline. Perhaps it is about the quality of the work, a commitment made to the community, or the feeling that no one has asked what the team needs. We won't know until we listen.

The Co-Active Training Institute describes three levels of listening: internal, focused, and global. Each describes where our attention goes. The model comes from coaching, but I find it useful for thinking about leadership and everyday relationships too. It gives us a way to notice our habits and choose how we want to show up.

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Level 1: Internal listening

At Level 1, we hear another person through the filter of our own thoughts and experience. We may be preparing our response, comparing their situation with our own, or deciding whether we agree.

In the conversation about the deadline, internal listening might sound like: "We had less time on the last project, and we made it work. Have you tried reorganizing your schedule?"

The response may be well intentioned. It also moves quickly to the listener's experience and preferred solution. Internal listening is part of being human. It is useful when we need to notice our own needs, make a decision, or recognize that something matters to us.

Level 2: Focused listening

At Level 2, attention shifts toward the other person. We listen for their words, their meaning, and the feeling they express. We stay curious about their experience instead of rushing to supply our own.

The leader might respond, "You're concerned the timeline could affect the quality of the work. What feels most at risk?"; allowing room for the team member to name the concern in their own terms.

Focused listening can include paraphrasing, asking an open question, or allowing a pause. A reflection is an invitation to correct us: "Have I understood that?" is as useful as the paraphrase itself.

Level 3: Global listening

At Level 3, we widen our attention to the whole conversation. We continue listening to the person's words while noticing changes in tone, energy, pace, and the context around the exchange. In a group, we might also notice who has entered the conversation, who has not, and how the room responds to a particular topic.

Imagine the team member says, "It's fine. We'll find a way," but their voice becomes quieter and they pause before answering. A leader could say, "I noticed a pause when you said that. What, if anything, is on your mind?"

The observation offers an opening without assigning judgement. The person may describe a concern, explain that they were simply thinking, or choose not to share. All are useful responses. A change in expression or silence has no single meaning, and people communicate differently across cultures, personalities, and circumstances. Global listening can bring attention to a shift in the relationship or a theme the person has not yet explored.

Listening as a leader

A leader and a direct report do not enter a conversation with the same power. Even a thoughtful question can feel difficult to answer when the leader has positional power, worse yet when that power is unexamined. People may need time, a different setting, or another way to raise a concern.

Listening also has consequences after the conversation. If someone names a problem and nothing happens, a good question alone will not build confidence. A leader can explain what they heard, what they can act on, and what remains outside their perview. If a decision has already been made, say so. Invite input about the parts that are still open.

Try this: Notice where your attention goes

Choose one conversation this week and experiment with these moves:

  1. Notice your internal response. When you feel an answer forming, pause. Ask yourself, "Am I listening to understand, or am I preparing to respond?" There is no need to judge the answer.
  2. Reflect what you heard. Offer a brief paraphrase and check it: "It sounds like the timeline is affecting your confidence in the work. Is that right?"
  3. Name an observation with curiosity. If you notice a shift, describe what you actually observed and ask what it means to the other person. Leave room for them to disagree or pass.
  4. Close the loop. Ask what would be helpful next. If you have a decision or responsibility in the situation, be clear about what you will do and when you will return to the conversation.

Listening takes practice because our attention moves. When we notice that it has moved, we can come back. That small return gives the other person another opportunity to be understood and gives us a better chance of responding to what is actually there.

Further exploration

Deep Listening: The #1 Skill for New Coaches | Co-Active
Master deep listening as a new coach with the 3 levels of listening and practical tips to transform your coaching practice.
Three Levels of Listening - Co-Active Training Institute
Co-Active Training uses levels of listening to train learners to listen and communicate more effectively, developing high-level leaders and coaches.