Leading Through Complexity Without Losing Ourselves: How nonprofit leaders can restore clarity, energy, and purpose in tangled systems

Reflections from AFP Fundraising Day Wisconsin 2025

At this year’s AFP Fundraising Day Wisconsin, I had the privilege of leading a session called “Leading Through Complexity Without Losing Ourselves.” This post is both a reflection on that experience and an offering for anyone navigating leadership in messy, uncertain times.

The room was filled with nonprofit leaders navigating real challenges: internal tensions, external pressures, resource gaps, and emotional exhaustion. But it was also filled with care, commitment, and the desire to lead with integrity, even when everything feels tangled.

This post shares key takeaways and tools we explored together. Whether you were in the room or not, I hope it gives you space to pause, reconnect with your "why," and lead from a place of clarity and care.

Why Leadership Feels Heavy Right Now

We began by naming what many leaders already feel: nonprofit work today means holding more than ever with even less support.  

• Rising community needs + shrinking resources
• Internal tensions + unspoken norms
• Public scrutiny + personal exhaustion
• Navigating change + leading teams through it

We explored a central truth:You’re not alone. Complexity isn’t dysfunction, rather it’s the nature of living systems. But we need tools to navigate it with more grace.

From Burnout to Clarity: An Energy + Purpose Check-In

We can’t lead well if we’re depleted. We invited participants to reflect on:

• What’s currently draining your energy?
• What’s giving you energy, no matter how small?
• What’s the deeper purpose that keeps you in this work?

These aren’t just self-care questions, they’re leadership strategy. When you know your energy patterns and your deeper “why,” you can make more intentional choices about how you show up and what to protect.

Mapping Organizational Tangles

Every organization has visible and invisible layers. What you see (i.e., org charts, job descriptions, strategic plans) is only part of the story. Below the surface are unspoken rules, fears, power dynamics, and emotional currents.

When things feel stuck, it’s usually a sign that something beneath the surface needs attention.  

We explored these questions:

• What's one organizational "tangle" you’re facing?
• What might be underneath it? (Is it fear of change? Competing priorities? A mismatch of values?)

Tools to Navigate, Not Just Manage Complexity

Here are three tools we worked with:

Tool 1 - Power + Influence Mapping 

Helps you clarify what’s in your control, where you can influence, and what to release. Mapping this helps you focus your energy where it counts and let go of what’s beyond you.

Tool 2 - The SCARF Model

The SCARF model by Dr. David Rock is a straightforward psychological theory of motivation that indicates people have strong drives to seek five key things: status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness.

These five social needs shape how people react to change. When unmet, they create threat responses. When nurtured, they build safety and engagement.

Use the SCARF framework to ask:

• Which of these needs feel unmet in your team right now?
• How might that be showing up as resistance or as a bid for care?

Tool 3 - “What’s Trying to Happen?” 

When systems feel stuck, this question opens a door to curiosity and insight rather than blame. Try shifting from “How do I fix this?” shift to curiosity by asking “What wants to happen here?”. This question often opens the door to insight, alignment, and shared momentum.

Collective Care Is Culture, Not Perks

We closed with a reminder: leadership doesn’t have to mean isolation or burnout. Individual resilience matters, but collective care is what sustains teams. We asked:

• What practices already support well-being in your team?
• What’s one small shift you could test to build more care?

Even small moments like pausing, checking in, acknowledging effort can shift how it feels to lead.

What Leaders Asked During the Session

During our session, nonprofit leaders raised thoughtful, honest questions. Here are a few that stuck with me:

• How do I bring this back to my team without it becoming ‘just one more thing’?
• What if I can name my energy drains but can’t change them?
• How do we surface unspoken dynamics without creating conflict?
• What if senior leaders don’t prioritize collective care?

These questions remind us: leading in complexity isn’t about having the perfect response. It’s about creating space to ask better questions and walking through them together.

A Final Word

To everyone who attended: thank you for showing up so fully. 

And to everyone leading through complexity, this is your reminder: you’re not broken. And your organization isn’t either, it’s evolving. Your presence matters. Download the full handout below and follow along with your team.

Your clarity and care ripple far beyond what you may see. Keep leading with your whole self, and when you’re tired, remember to return to what energizes and grounds you.

Let’s keep this conversation going.

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